IPL teams listed on BSE !!

Here's another IPL update:

The second edition of IPL has started heaping losses onto individual owners, thanks to consistently terrible performances by teams such as Kolkata and Punjab.
The stadia are empty and the merchandise just doesn’t fly off the shelves any longer.
So, in the true capitalistic fashion that Mr Modi is known for, each team will soon try to woo the individual investor taking advantage of the current rally on Dalal Street. Given below are the ticker symbols for the 8 franchisees.

KKR, KXIP, RCB, DCH, MUMI, DDD, CSK, RRO.

Thus the following news items will be made possible:

1. MUMI slips in intraday, then recovers - owner relieved.

2. DDD experiences high volume activity with Pamela Anderson rumored to have made a ‘strategic investment’.

3. GSK sues CSK on trademark infringement - stock collapses. GSK later fires their lead attorney (on retainer from a leading law firm), who's only comment was 'the keypad on the new blackberry is just not suitable for the Indian climate'. It is believed that the Indian climate forces attorneys to gulp large volumes of chilled kingfisher around 3 pm.

4. KKR considers taking over KKR - stock soars. Later, the senior partners abandon the move after being shown a recording of Saurabh ganguly's dinner with Shahrukh Khan (taken through secret camera). None of the partners were available to comment - one did repeatedly mention 'I've been reminded of Brokeback Mountain lately' on his blog.

5. RRO distributes Shilpa Shetty's yoga video with the prospectus - issue is oversubscribed 19.3 times through book building process.

6. RCB faces no threats, and Vijay Mallaya doesn’t face any cash crunch – so the symbol remains an artifact.

7. DCH attempts to drum up interest using non-traditional road shows, including, among other things a 17 hour promotional flying show by Gapt G R Gopinath. Full page ads (sometimes running into 12 pages out of the 16 of Deccan chronicle) also do not bring sufficient enquires. At last, Abdul Kareem Lada Saheb (last name masked on request of client confidentiality) is enlisted as special consultant. The team doesn’t list on either bourse but there’s tremendous response from the heartland of AP and Maharashtra and no more cash problems are expected till PurvankaraIPL in 2014.

8. Having failed miserably as a money spinner, KXIP re-invents itself as a not for profit FM radio station and starts church funded broadcasts from an unidentified location in Kentucky.